i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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