Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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