haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
