You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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