She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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