It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
