You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
