Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
