i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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