I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This is the high leading the old right now
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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