dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
