then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
