Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
