I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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