in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize
