hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
