Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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