I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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