Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have tasted many bathrooms
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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