you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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