never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
