I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
