the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
