Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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