WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize