operation harelip BJ is a go
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
