Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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