First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
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Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
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