pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
