I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just had sex on a roof
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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