Dual....:-)
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
