What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
