i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
50% drunk capacity currently
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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