Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
