Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
