His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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