i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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