and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
