her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
