I think my fart just growled at me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
