Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
