Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
