So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
