This is the prime rib incident all over again
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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