She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
