Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
