Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
