Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Randomize
