Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
