the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
well you can't waste a boner
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
