If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
