my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
