he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
