I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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