4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
