i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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