that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
