We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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