I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
