They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My pussy is not your playground.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
