Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
